Excerpt from ‘Licking Honey Off a Razor Blade’ by Valerie Grimes, CHt
A book on alcohol dependency and alcohol addiction and hypnosis
Intervention, Round 3?
In early January, six months after his departure, I was startled to receive his text:
“I’m in treatment 4 30 days and can’t use my phone.”
Oh my god the family did an intervention. Maybe this is a sign he can get better. Maybe we can heal together now!
I knew it would never work if we were both drinking, but still thought it could if we were both sober, what I still didn’t realize was that it was the drinking that brought us together, two hurt souls needing to work out their issues and once worked out, booze or no booze we would no longer have a connection.
Excited by the idea and thinking the universe was conspiring in my favor to bring us together I wrote to him.
It just feels good to communicate with you, even if you can’t talk back…but hey, that is pretty much how it has always been with us. LOL
I still have so many HIGH hopes for you and your future and I see you doing what you love with someone that you love.
I saved a voice message you sent me in late November last year, about how sorry you were and that you wished you could hold me…it was one of the only times you said you were sorry…but that is not why I kept the message, but I kept it because the sound of your voice was so authentic, the real you. And for the first time you seemed to really be showing me that you really cared about me.
So maybe you being in treatment fixes it, IDK…I think I remember your telling me you have been in treatment before.
Let me know how I can help you become the real you so you can move forward with your life. I want to share with you my experiences and my healing.
You are in my heart for always,
Thirty-one days after that message my phone’s voice recognition announces, “call from Hope He is Okay.”
“Sal?!” I answered.
“Hey baby. I’m out. Going to grab my gear and do a little fishin’, just be mine, princess; just say you will be mine.”
“Ok. I’m yours, but what does that—”
“I’ll get with you later. I love you.”
“I love you too Sal. Can you come home?” Why did I just say that?
“Let me take care of my family first.”
Good. “Okay, bye baby.”
It’s happening again, isn’t it?
I answered myself, ‘Yes, maybe nothing’s changed.’
I shared with Diane, “So I talked to Sal. He is finally being honest and showing his vulnerability. He is getting better. He is working on his shit.”
Diane responded, “You know it is a lie. He is only saying that because he wants to suck you back in. He is probably sick of his family riding his ass and wants to come back to you and enjoy the freedom you offer.”
Even with the therapy, I still wasn’t strong enough to stop the thoughts of a reunion.
During the next two months he led me to believe he was coming home, I was so eager to share with him what I was experiencing in my hypnosis sessions and because I am a natural healer I wanted to teach him how to do it too. But, I was getting set up for a huge disappointment, again.